It's a sad day

My Aunt Melody passed away last night.

I miss her, she was a wonderful person to me. In some ways though, I've already mourned the loss of her. The aunt of my childhood- fun, loving, playful, joyful- is not the aunt of my adulthood. Maybe she didn't change but my perception of her did? I'm not sure but there was a difference.

I now mourn for my mother, who's lost her baby sister. I mourn for my grandmother, who has lost her daughter. Those thoughts bring me to my knees in sorrow and pain. I look at my two girls and I think about losing one, or I think about the other having to lose a sister. I can't hardly breathe. No one should have to go thru this kind of pain, ever. Especially not in their 50's that's just too young.

There is a picture my mom has of Melody. She's holding one of her babies on her chest. She's positively radiant.  I wish I could find it but I don't seem to have any pictures of her.

I miss her.